"Once upon a time coppers were heroes; nowadays, telling someone you're on the force is likely to get you in as much trouble as dipping your tadger in the punch at a Royal Garden Party."

Policing in the seventies was simple: when a crime was committed you tracked a nearby blagger, 'persuaded' him to confess and sent him off for a good long stretch. Simple. Sadly, policing in the eighties is a completely different kettle of fish. In fact, it's a whole different kettle of shoulder-pad-sporting, bouffant-haired, foundation-caked, coke-snorting, race-rioting career criminals. For your average bobby on the beat The Rules of Modern Policing are simply no longer enough. Thankfully, however, DCI Gene Hunt is once again on hand to help his fellow officers, and so we have The Future of Modern Policing.

Packed full advice for all ranks, this an invaluable policing manual in which the Gene Genie discusses all the new issues facing the Met - riots, forensics, political correctness (whatever the hell that is), IT, drugs and advanced interrogation techniques that you just might be able to persuade the judge are legal. There are also some practical exercises at the end of each chapter, including a helpful 'Spot the Drug Addict' picture quiz, so, even if you really don't know your arse from your elbow, you can at least learn to blag it.

Gene Hunt may not be the most modern copper in the Met but he isn't a fool either. If you want to be one of the Met's top dogs, maybe you should buy his book, eh?